Set intentions, not resolutions
It’s this time of year again…
Everybody seems to set resolutions for the New Year.
Usually the list goes something like this:
- Lose weight
- Exercise more
- Drink more water
- Sleep earlier
- Reduce facebook
The problem is that these “goals” feel like work, like pain and after just a few weeks we usually let them go again, postponing them to next year.
In order for change to happen effortlessly, we need to change the wiring in our brain from pain to pleasure. If something feels like pain, it is only natural that we try to avoid it. If something feels like pleasure, we are naturally drawn to it.
What if instead of focusing on the pain of the concrete things we should DO (or not do), we focused on the pleasure of how we would like to FEEL or BE?
What if on top we were able to let go of fixed ideas of what it takes for us to feel that way, and instead allowed the Universe to fill in the concrete parts? Because after all, the Universe has our best interest in mind and knows best what we REALLY need… (which can be very different from what we think we want).
Instead of setting New Year’s Resolutions deemed to fail, set INTENTIONS instead and manifest your miracles!
Getting clear on and writing down your intentions helps you define and state your bigger yes, so that you can remind yourself why you are doing what you are doing, especially on bad days.
But intentions do much more than this.
Beliefs create thoughts, thoughts create emotions, emotions lead to actions.
Change your beliefs, and you will change your actions and thus the reality of your life. Since beliefs are a bit more difficult to grasp than thoughts because they are often unconscious, it is usually easier to start getting aware of and modifying our conscious thoughts. Doing so will then slowly transform our beliefs.
If you plant a tomato seed, you will get a tomato plant. If you plant a pumpkin seed, you will get a pumpkin. If you plant a rose seed, you will get a rose. If what you want are roses, you shouldn’t plant tomato seeds.
The same is true for your thoughts. If you plant a thought of lack, you won’t harvest abundance. If you plant a thought of hate, you won’t harvest love. If you plant an infertile thought, you won’t harvest fertility.
Thus, we have to choose our thoughts wisely, if what we want to create is love, abundance, peace, beauty, harmony and fertility. As Mark Twain said, “No wind is favorable for a ship without destination”. If we want to participate in the creation of our lives actively and consciously, we have to set intentions and goals, but we have to do so in a powerful way.
Become a co-creator!
Note how I say “participate in the creation of our lives” and not “create our lives”.
I do not believe that we actually hold the power to manifest concrete things with our thoughts – for example a baby, or a relationship with a certain person, IF THEY ARE NOT IN OUR BEST INTEREST OR SIMPLY NOT MEANT TO BE.
This implies that we are not necessarily “doing it wrong” (as often suggested), if we don’t get what we think we want. For me, such a perspective lacks humility before a bigger power, call it God, the Universe or however you would like to. Because maybe what you think you want is not actually what you need, or in your best interest, at least not at this point in time. In my opinion, we do play an important role in creating our reality, but we should not forget that we are merely co-creators.
My approach to positive thinking is first and foremost focused on helping you to develop a feeling of worthiness and trust in that whatever happens is in your best interest. My goal is to help you see how things are actually happening FOR you, not TO you. With such a foundation, your thoughts will automatically be positive and abundant, while allowing the Universe to fill in the concrete details.
The Process of setting powerful intentions
Let me take you through the process of creating powerful intentions.
- Intention: Define your intentions = Plant your seed
There is a difference between an intention and a goal.
- A goal (or objective, or resolution) is a specific, absolute and measurable result. It usually implies a strong decision to DO or not do something. It usually starts with “I want”.
- An intention is a way of BEING. It is often the “why” behind the goal. It usually starts with “I am” or “I feel”.
It is ok to have concrete goals, i.e. to conceive a baby or to write a book, however, we should always be clear about two things:
- That what we want might not be what we need from a soul perspective. Thus even though we do want to conceive a baby, we should try to not get overly attached to the idea, but instead trust that whatever happens will be in our best interest. All we can do is give it our best shot, and then let go and trust that if it is meant to be and in our best interest, it will be.
- The intentions fueling the goal. If my intention behind wanting to conceive a baby is to fill a void, to bind my partner, to have someone to take care of me when I am old, to fulfill my “duty” as a woman, or to make my partner (or parents) happy, it will have a very different effect than if my intention is to simply love and nurture another human being, to share with him all of my values and virtues, or if I feel a deep humility and gratitude for the ability to give the gift of life.
|Objective / resolution / goal||Intention(s)|
|I want to lose 10 kg||I enjoy feeling (I am) vital and light.
I enjoy being (I am) in shape and in good health.
|I want to stop eating all sugar and junk food||I love and respect my body.
I enjoy feeling (I am) vital and well-nourished.
I savor a life full of sweetness.
|I want to conceive a baby||I am deeply grateful for the ability to give life.
I enjoy nurturing and mothering what’s inside of me and creating miracles out of it.
I enjoy contributing to the good of humanity by passing on and sharing all my values and virtues.
I enjoy seeing part of me reflected back to me.
|I want a relationship with xyz||I feel loved, wanted and special and behave accordingly.
I feel worthy of belonging to a committed partner.
I enjoy loving and sharing my gifts with a person who I admire.
I enjoy growing as a person through an intimate relationship.
Note how achieving your goal does not necessarily mean your intention gets fulfilled, and vice versa. You can lose 10 kg without actually feeling vital or being in good health. You can be in good health without necessarily having to lose the 10kg. You can conceive a baby, without actually nurturing it. You can nurture, create, share your values and virtues without necessarily having to conceive a baby.
4 secrets for setting powerful and meaningful intentions:
a) Soul-based vs. Ego-based: what’s the feeling in my body?
Intention of the Ego
Contraction, tightness, heaviness, difficult, exhausting, fear
Intention of the Soul
Joy, love, lightness, openness, energetic, expansive
b) Use the present tense (as if the intention was already reality)
c) Use positive wording (I am instead of I am no longer)
d) Use powerful verbs: I am, I am grateful, I enjoy, I love, I deserve, NEVER I want
Call to action
Write down all intentions you have for this year in all areas of your life (relationships, work, health, money…).
When it comes to fertility and conception, your intentions could look like this:
- I am grateful for optimal health and fertility.
- I enjoy a relationship full of love and respect with the partner who is right for me.
- I feel relaxed, vibrant and in balance.
- My heart is open and I completely trust the process of life unfolding.
- I feel good about my body and trust it completely.
- My body is enough and capable. I am enough and capable.
- I am worthy of love and happiness.
- I deserve the fulfillment of my heart’s deepest desires.
- I relax and trust the process.
- I allow things to come to me in their own time and space.
- I feel deep trust in the Universe and gratefully receive whatever it offers to me.
- I am grateful for a smooth conception and pregnancy.
Note how some of those intentions do contain specific results (i.e. a smooth conception and pregnancy). That is ok, as long as it is stated in a positive, joyful way that feels light to you and gives you energy rather than taking it from you AND (as stated above) as long as you do not get overly attached to the result.
Personally I have tried both, concrete intentions, containing specific elements (i.e. I am grateful for a smooth conception and pregnancy, I enjoy a relationship full of love and respect with my partner, I enjoy being a successfully published author) and rather general intentions, that simply focus on the frame, without filling in the details (i.e. I am connected to my sexuality and allow it to guide me to manifest my heart’s deepest desires – whatever that might mean). Depending on the situation, one works better than the other.
Now choose the 3 most important ones. These are your main intentions.
As you go along, you can define more concrete sub-intentions, for example:
- I fully enjoy the time with my partner during the weekend
- I love nourishing my body with healthy food
- I enjoy restoring my energy by going to bed early
Also choose a “year-topic”, for example trust, love, surrender, joy, fun … it can also be a phrase, like “Life is a Game” (my topic for 2019 ;)).
- Attention: Water the planted seeds
- Write your year topic on post-its and stick them in different places in your home to be reminded regularly
- Every day, connect yourself with your heart, read your intentions, concentrate your energy on them, visualize them and really feel them in every cell of your body. The more you can feel it, the more you will be in the frequency to attract it into your life (if it is in your best interest).
- If you can do that in a group, together with your partner or children, even better, because then they get supercharged (just avoid sharing them with negative people, who don’t respect them or actually would not want you to manifest them).
- No tension = trust that your plant will bloom !
- Relax, don’t dig in the ground constantly to look how your seed is doing – you might end up killing it! Just trust the process.
- Put yourself in “receiving” mode. Don’t doubt that your plant will develop the way you want it to. If you planted the seed of a rose in fertile ground and watered it correctly, there is no doubt it will come out as a beautiful, strong rose when the moment is right! Be patient and curious!
Obstacle: Resistance to receive
Especially if you struggle with fertility, you are likely to have difficulties „receiving“. Observe your behavior and notice when you feel uncomfortable or even turn down a compliment, a favor, a gift, an invitation to a drink or meal… Practice « receiving » every day. When someone wants to pay your lunch, just say thank you without feeling obliged to give anything in return. When someone gives you a compliment for your dress, don’t belittle it by telling them that you bought it for just 10 Euro in the second-hand store. Try being grateful for what you receive, even if it arrives in a “negative” disguise.